money money money

i hate money. i hate having it, making decisions about it, but mostly worrying about it. i know that i need to trust God to deal with my money but sometimes it's hard. I owe the government money for student loans. i owe my parents money because i need it sometimes and they always come through for me. They often give me gifts but i'd rather it be a loan so i don't feel quite so much like a deadbeat.

I know that God looks after me every month. i know that He has been faithful in the past and will continue to do so. but sometimes i know stuff but i just forget and think of how i'll deal with it on my own terms. not good.

I love how God always works backwards in our standards. the less i worry about something and leave it to God the better it'll turn out. the weaker i am, the more God has a chance to display His strength in me. For me it's a daily reminder. i always forget that stuff and far too easily try to take stuff on my own. i gotsta continually hand it over to God and remind myself that none of this is about me, but it's all about HIM. that's refreshing to be reminded of that sometimes.

Whatever you're dealing with, give it to God. Don't deal with it in your own strength. Abandon your pride. John 3:30 .... less of me, more of Jesus... On your own you will fail EVERYTIME, but with Jesus you'll be alright.